


Will you forgive me ?

by NessieKoizumi



Category: Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, First Love, M/M, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 21:38:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessieKoizumi/pseuds/NessieKoizumi
Summary: Mafuyu makes the dreaded walk towards the Yoshida’s house on Yuuki’s birthday.





	Will you forgive me ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello !!! I’m back with another angst tho I’m not so sure it’s any good because I suck. But heyy, perhaps some of you like it. I hope so. 🥺 All hail Kizu Natsuki for Given !!! Sorry for any grammatical errors.

It was rainy, gloomy and dark but not as quiet as the darkness looming over Mafuyu’s mind. Changing his clothes as if he’s going on date, putting on the fragrance that was once used to make a certain someone to grin happily as he said “You smell nice.” before he’d continue to hug Mafuyu on his back and just listen to Mafuyu hums his melody away. Mafuyu bids his goodbye to his mother before he goes on the dreaded walk towards a door he never dared to get close anymore.

Bowing as a sign of greeting to Yuuki’s mom, she hugged him so tight; it almost felt like the hug is the only thing keeping her alive, that kept her standing, the very defiance to grumble down any further on this day. Patting Mafuyu’s hair , she said 

“You’ve grown so well. Yuuki would be so glad if he could see you.” 

A small sad smile appears on her face as her fingers starts to tremble all over again, hitting Mafuyu on his back she told him to go upstairs, Yuuki is waiting. It’s not like it’s the first time that Mafuyu had went to the Yoshida’s house but it’s the first time after so long, the first time after the tragic that struck them, the first time he ever tried to make amend head on, Mafuyu feels as if thousands and thousands of daggers piercing over his body but he won’t stop walking, Yuuki deserves this, Mafuyu deserves this, their story deserves this.

Putting his hand on the doorknob that once held their own paradise before it had been taken over, been trampled upon, been defiled by such darkness , how Yuuki had been defiled with such thoughts and Mafuyu didn’t even notice a thing, a tragic tell, a tragic past,a tragic end. 

“Tadaima, Yuuki.”

Mafuyu is back, he finally visited the home that he once lived, a home they once shared, a heaven they once built, a place that witnessed everything, the good, the bad and the worst. Slowly, making his steps towards the bed they once laid side by side, the bed that had witnessed them mixing in, blending in as they become one, the bed that Yuuki once proclaimed as “the place to breed” as he laughed before getting hit on his shoulder.

“How have you been ?”

Looking down on the floor, Mafuyu can feel his heartbeat rising at an alarming rate, the sound of his heartbeat so loud he’s afraid his heart might just give up, the once room that plays a melodious background music is just sickeningly silent now. Mafuyu thought, he can’t do this but a realisation hits him. How the room never seem any different than the day, the bright days, the wonderful days he once shared with Yuuki, it was kept clean, the same way it was three years ago.

How could Mafuyu shows his weakened resolve, when Yuuki’s mom is holding on, to show a strong upfront because she doesn’t want her only son, her precious baby, to feel responsible for the daggers that once struck at her heart and can’t ever be pulled out. His hands are shaking, his voices are trembling before his eyes caught something on the table, a picture of Yuuki placing his arms on Mafuyu’s shoulder, both of them spotting a huge grin.

“Ne Yuuki, I’ve been doing fine. I’m in a band now, I won’t say we’re a big shot but I think we’re making a name for ourselves. Hiiragi and Shizusumi will visit you later. Right about now, he’s probably in Shizusumi’s embrace, you know how delicate he can be. They’re dating now, Yuuki. “

A silence breaks in, the sound of the clock clicking can be heard loudly. Mafuyu takes a deep breath in before he continued on talking; 

“It’s funny yeah ? We could have gone on a double date, I can imagine you’ll be teasing Hiiragi and he’ll just make an annoyed face, quarrelling back at ya. Shizusumi will probably just shakes his head and stares at the childish antics of the both of you.” 

A humourless laugh escape from Mafuyu’s mouth, Mafuyu’s fingers are tracing back and forth, back and forth on Yuuki’s bed sheet as memories starts to play like a black and white movie premiering on Mafuyu’s mind. 

“You once said that you bet I’ll forget about the time we had spent on the beach, how eventually I’ll forget about you. And the funny thing is I start to forget small details about you, and it scares me Yuuki. How could I ever forget you ? “

Mafuyu’s hands are turning white , the bed sheet crumbling along as Mafuyu’s hand holds on to them for support, restraining himself from breaking down, it should be a joyous day. It’s Yuuki’s birthday nonetheless. 

“I miss you. “

Mafuyu’s eyes then caught something, something familiar that connects Yuuki and the guy he’s in love with. The clock. The ever foreboding clock. 

His voices are cracking, Mafuyu can feel a deeper , wider dagger being pushed inside his heart, he can feel the tremor in his heart and mind taking over,but as if , an angelic presence had shown himself. The right hold, the crushing grip on his heart slowly weakening , slowly untangled itself. Mafuyu feels calm again.

“The guy I’m in love with, he , he takes good care of me , just like you. We had a serious talk, one time. How I’m so sorry that he had fallen for a guy like me, a guy with so many baggage, a guy who will always be bind with a dark past. But Yuuki, you wouldn’t guess what he answered back. He’s thankful that I have you by my side. How without you, I wouldn’t be the Mafuyu that I’m now. How by your presence, had saved me, how we were just meant to be. He, he said, that even if I will always have you in my heart, he won’t mind okay so maybe a little, he said humorlessly.”

Memories of Yuuki staring at his face, as he plays with Mafuyu’s hair , touching his face , showing his smile that Mafuyu will never see again, Mafuyu wants nothing more than to get out of this room. But Mafuyu have to get it all out of his system. So that the next time he’s visiting, it will be less dreadful, he will be stronger, less fragile, he wants Yuuki to see his growth. 

“You said you loved me. But you had forgotten one thing Yuuki, I love you too, I loved you, I will always love you. I held on to your guitar for dear life, I held on to your guitar like it’s you. Do you forgive me Yuuki ? Will we ever meet again ?”


End file.
